Chronicles from a Well Lived House…

Last Summer I decided to focus on clearing out the clutter in my home.

With the twins approaching their teen years, I’ve been on a spiritual journey, soul searching, whatever you want to call it, for over a year now.  My role as a Mother is shifting and I am starting to feel some sense of relief from the whirlwind of child-rearing.

While listening to a podcast on HayHouse, I came across a clutter clearing course being offered by DENISE LINN. 

Besides motivating me to clear the clutter in my own house, I felt I might share these techniques with my future clients as I move toward more a more conscious approach to design in 2020. 

Designing interiors is different now than it was a decade ago. Before I had kids. Having children has changed my home experience and view of how it should function, at least for a family.  And this world has changed a lot. There is a greater awareness of climate change, our footprint, a greater desire for sustainably produced furnishings and textiles.  And with the amount of data being thrown at us everyday and the world as cray, cray as it is these days, we all need a personal sanctuary we can call truly call home. 

 A lot of things get put off when you are doing overtime, whether it is caring for others or delving into a demanding project or career. When we are super busy, things accumulate and certain areas of one’s life are neglected.  In my case, it has sometimes been my health, both mentally and physically, and also my physical household, both inside and out. 

SORTING THROUGH STUFF BRINGS STUFF UP.

So over the least year I’ve really sought out the help of experts, authors and an amazing Jungian therapist. Deciding to get rid of stuff means you have to be resolved about the feelings associated with that object. LINN talks about how everything you bring into your home has energy and you have to become attuned to the kind of energy each object has and then decide if you want it in your life or not.  She also gives you permission to give away unwanted gifts, books, old cards, clothes that are too tight; anything you haven’t used in over a year. 

 Entrepreneurial-focused, financial and self help books often say in one way or another to take stock of your life and your belongings. How you spend your time and money tells you what your values are. If there are a lot of things in your life that you own but don’t use, you need to ask yourself why you still have them.

This has not been an overnight process for me, personally. There is also the matter of negotiating with and motivating my husband and kids throughout this process.  Once they let go, they have come to appreciate the rewards of selling unwanted toys at garage sales and resale stores. And, many unused toys and clothes have gone to a nearby shelter for women and children this past holiday season.  That experience left us with an enormous boon of gratitude around a time when we can get caught up in spending on things we really don’t need to gift to others. 

Or, try to focus on things that can be consumed, rather than possessed.   Fine foods like jams or canned goods are always wonderful, or a class, a subscription service, a membership, a gift card, etc.

 AS ON THE OUTSIDE, SO ON THE INSIDE

Financial and physical clutter has been prevalent in my family for generations. You don’t realize just how many of these thoughts, beliefs and patterns are imbedded in you at an early age. I am trying to raise my consciousness and improve these areas of my life.  As my therapist says, “On the inside, so as on the outside. On the outside, so as on the inside.   This is also the biggest Secret of Life, right?  As Within – What do we think within ourselves- So Without – Will be expressed or reflected on the world we live.

So, I would like to share with you some of the things that I have learned along this journey with the intention that it might help you with clearing out the clutter in your own life.  I feel that a lot of techniques I have employed are helping to elevate my life, my home and that of my family.

For starters, I did a major purge in my design studio. I went through shelves and shelves of fabric I’d accumulated over the years and what I no longer wanted, I donated.  This allowed me to discern what remained asset-wise for my business. By taking away a lot of the noise of years and years of textile and materials consumption, which was a part of my business,  I came to see what I now value for my collection moving forward, with a stronger vision for my future. I cleaned out files, purged outdated books and magazines, reorganized my shipping closet and many other areas of my office.  As I enter a new, cleaner phase of my life, I feel I am making room for new things to happen.  For years, I just did, status quo, was very busy, and it was enough.

I know many women (or rockstar men in some cases) choose to stay home for the first several years of child rearing if they can.  It was important to me for a number of reasons. My Mother was a divorced, full time nurse, with late night hours, and was not always able to be around.  I missed her a lot growing up, so I wanted to be there for my kids.  Also, I started a family a little late to the game.  At age 41, I had experienced a lot of life already and was ready for a new chapter. I had tried for over four years to get pregnant, so I felt truly blessed when my husband and I were given the gift of twins. I could not stand to be away from my kids when I first went back to work.  I would cry on my way to work, and speed home at the end of the day. It was bad. I would even ask parents who came into WILLIAMS SONOMA HOME, where I worked as a Designer, if I could hold their precious babies.

Now, at 54, I am waking up to how I’ve spent the last decade as a stay at home Mom and entrepreneur.  I’m proud of my husband and I, how we’ve together have raises our wonderful children to the ripe age of 13 in two weeks (!), and also of the business I’ve built. STUDIO TULLIA has made and shipped thousands of handmade goods to over 34 countries worldwide and throughout the US. I  have over 500 five star reviews that attest to the quality of our work and customer service. My four person team, is a strong and a well oiled machine. I’ve been able to stay at home, work, and contribute to our financial well being. And, of course I cannot fail to mention that I have had sooooo much help from my husband, family, friends, and neighbors, in growing and surviving as a family. We have been blessed beyond words.  I never really understood just how much it truly does take a village to raise a child.

I am on a path of self discovery.  I am trying to put myself out there: go to events, conferences, read more, listen to all sorts of podcasts, meditate, walk, do yoga. I went to a great conference last year, in  Palm Springs, called ALT SUMMIT, for creative entrepreneurs.

It was there that I had my first five days solo, in several years, surrounded by creative women and mothers of all ages. It was fantastic.  It was an all accepting environment of sharing the lessons of failure and success as creative business owners. That conference taught me to be AUTHENTIC. REAL. Wild hair, wrinkles and all.

This week, I am off to San Francisco for the DESIGN INFLUENCERS CONFERENCE, which I’ve been curious about for years. Alexa Hampton, Nate Berkus, and so many other great designers and speakers will be there.  I’m hoping to find inspiration as I start my path toward writing more and bolstering the designer inside myself.  The struggle to stay relevant in the online world is real, people, and it’s time to up my game. But, I also want to get out of the house, be inspired, find my voice and foster my tribe.

DID I DIGRESS? I’M SORRY. BACK TO CLUTTER.

So, the MARIE KONDO thing has been sweeping the world (no pun intended) for quite awhile now and she has helped me work magic on my drawers with her amazing folding technique. I like that she honors the houses of all her clients when she first enters with a few moments of prayer.

“Does it Spark Joy?” has become universal mantra. And watching her show makes me feel better as there are many others who have clutter.  Check out the trailer HERE if you are interested. 

But, I was ultimately drawn to clutter clearing guru and Cherokee spiritual healer DENISE LINN. 

I took her three-month online course this past Summer.  She is an author, healer and practitioner of Interior Realignment. She has helped me shift how I think about both cleaning and creating positive energy and a flow in my home.  To tell you the truth, before I signed up, I participated in a free mini course that she offered and had a strange experience. She was talking me through what she calls a mindful mediation/inner journey and I was focusing on an old house that had great significance in my family. I felt like I was wincing and couldn’t catch my breath. It was odd enough to make me think this woman had some real power. This house is in North Carolina and in Cherokee country which also seemed like an interesting connection. And she seems like a nice person. I was sold.

Since then, I feel that I am working toward creating a more sacred space for myself and my family. It is feeling more and more like a home and a sanctuary with each space in my house that I cleanse.  I’ve learned that sometimes just clearing out a drawer or a corner of a room can give you a sense of accomplishment and calm. 

LINN’s approach appealed to me for many reasons.  She is incredibly knowledgeable about people and their relationships toward their homes, and their things. She has travelled and studied many different cultures, written over 15 books and she is spiritual in her approach. She goes deep with guided inner journeys as part of her clutter clearing process and she takes you through the steps toward clearing out your home, room by room.  It has really helped.

It has also informed how I look at my work as a designer. I want to help others really enjoy their home, not just sell them stuff. In this era, we all need a safe, nurturing, and bright place to come home to.

In the coming months, I will share with you some of the techniques I have learned, highlights from the course, and show you how they are manifesting in my own home.